sincerity.

a quick little poem from someone avoidantly attached

Photo by Birmingham Museums Trust on Unsplash

]I've grown to fear sincerity
and smiles that reach the eyes 

I've grown to fear that you're just you
and that there's no disguise. 

I've grown to fear your warm embrace, 
your laughter oh so true. 

I've grown to fear the happiness
that comes when I'm with you. 

~~

I’ve grown to fear sincerity
so I'll push, then pull away. 

I'll run then hide and isolate
'till my vision's blue and grey. 

Your kindness makes me nauseous
and your patience makes me cry.

Yet you tell me I deserve it
though I know that that's a lie.

- J.Y.

---

I wrote this poem a year ago and it’s almost funny how different things are now. A year can change a lot of things!!

I feel like nowadays I do a bit less self sabotaging in my relationships and a bit more optimistic when viewing others. There’s still a lot of work to be done, but as I read this old poem, I’m happy to see that I’ve grown :)

From,
Jade