to anyone struggling to walk away.

Photo by Marianna Smiley on Unsplash.

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to anyone struggling to walk away,

love should not confuse you more than it comforts you. it’s not something you should have to decode, earn, chase, or shrink for.

you’re allowed to leave something even if it doesn’t hurt all the time.
even if it once made you happy.
even if you understand that the pain they inflict is a reflection of their own.
even if there’s still a part of you that wants to stay.

sometimes the hardest thing to leave is something you convinced yourself would heal. the almosts.
the maybes.
the hope that next time it’ll be better.

but real love doesn’t hold you hostage with hope.
it’s ready, and it meets you where you are.
without conditions.
without the bruise.

you’re allowed to leave even if it isn’t all bad.
even if it used to feel like home.
even if they didn’t mean to hurt you.
even if the good days are crystal clear when you close your eyes.

you’re allowed to want more.
to want to feel safe.
to want to feel steady.

don’t let loneliness convince you to stay somewhere your soul has already left.
don’t let memories tie you to a version that’s a stranger.

you’re not weak for walking away. you’re strong for seeing it as it is.
you’re strong for choosing peace, not potential.

and when you leave, do it with grace.
do it quietly.
but do it completely.

because you deserve a love that feels like rest,
not someone else’s recovery.

from,
jade

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here’s a little letter of things i wish someone told me a year ago. though honestly even if i did hear this i was so blinded at the time, God knows if i’d listen.

regardless, i’m thankful for all the people who supported me through it and thus far. you’re all truly irreplaceable.

i grew up in a household where love came strong. it was natural, and there was always so much of it to give away.

giving it to the wrong person… wasn’t something that concerned me as much, because if i was so blessed to live with a full heart, did it really matter if i let someone undeserving warm themselves by its fire? surely, someone would love me if i gave enough of myself away.

as i heal and grow, i realize i really did romanticize the idea of selflessness and truly sacrificing everything for the person you loved. it’s the blessing and curse that comes with having parents who are the standard of what love should be.

i truly have so many regrets, wasting my time and heart on someone so undeserving, but i believe everything happens for a reason, and i thank God for sparing my dignity through it all. i thank God for continuously doing things to keep us apart until i could finally choose to step away on my own. and i thank God for helping my heart heal and grow.

i thought leaving would end me. but after the wave of grief passed, i can’t begin to describe the immeasurable joy and peace in my heart. the light that reignited in me shines so much brighter than the darkness you left, and i’ve never felt more full.

to those who struggle to walk away, you are not alone. it’s not easy, but one day the peace will be louder than the fear that kept you there.
and when it comes, it will be like finally breathing again.

<3